Thursday, June 16, 2011

Winds of Change

from time to time
i change my mind
to things wicked and unseen
from things mellow and upbeat

the girl with a crooked smile
seemed withering inside
what the fuck is she going through?

her lover caresses her
she felt mundane
her friends comfort her
she felt a tap on the wrist

what could have been the problem?
what could have made her mad?

is she worth the attention?
is she worth the love?

Lately, I have been making a lot of people doubt my genuinity. Being too one-sided and thinking deeper as usual. I have to be honest to myself. What could have been the problem? Trying to sort it out. Being such a transparent journal all of a sudden. You see, you got some kind of hold on me.

Change in ensemble colors
Sudden changes of the mind
Sudden changes of the mood
Sudden snaps
Darker Eyeshadows
Weight Gain

 I could have made this list a little longer but that would be too transparent. And right now, writing everything down would lessen the weight of dreadfulness. I abhor feeling like an insensitive little prick. Having to deal with your attitude is way more difficult than dealing for weeds. I mean, what more hell does everyday have to put me through? Mom and dad leaving in a week. Brother working graveyard shift. SCH fucking OOL. Thesis. Endless fights with the boyfriend. I mean, don't I deserve a day without keeping up with everyone's shit? Having to be a graduating student in a complicated love life, home of scoldful parents, peer pressures IS ONE HELL OF A WORK. I know shit happens, but never whale shit. I could rant all night, would any of this help? I'm sorry for such self-destruction, I need this. Outlets, recorders, and ears that are willingly lent. All help needed. :/


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